I’m not kissing girls who have to get / blitzed / to touch me
by Jennifer Hanks
I’m not I’m not I’m not / It’s not true she wants / something different from me / than her
boyfriend / Or it is / and that’s hell too / she gets on her knees / on the dance
floor / she
presses her face against my hip / I’m supposed to pretend my body feels nothing /
I know
that / next time I’ll say / my confusing body feels nothing / my traitor body feels nothing /
put your hand in my jeans and see how much nothing I feel
I will / I’ll say it / not / I’m wet & hard & still not real / enough / for you I
won’t say / I’m a
good boy / enough-boy / a spit-curl-you-could-pull-when-I’m-sucking-your-clit boy
/ I’m
dry I’ll say / I’m chalk I’ll say / pull off a limb and it’ll grow back I’ll say /
but nothing / she
tips back her head / the whiskey on her breath / the ginger on her breath / like a
sea star /
I’m brainless / I won’t I won’t I won’t / move closer / her palm against my chest
now / my
sweating crushed ant chest now / just take another shot I’ll say / just leaving me
standing
here I’ll say / just go home with that girl / that boy I try / to say / before her
drunk / her
confident cis tongue / is in my mouth